Less Friction. More Traction.

What’s your agenda? Do you know? Do you think you know? How honest are you with yourself? Because if you aren’t honest with yourself, you’re not going to be honest with anyone else.

Everyone has their agenda…the things they are looking to accomplish and get out of life. As we interact with each other, we discover where there are commonalities and differences on one another’s agendas. Most of us are aware of at least the major things we want that are important to us. We work to advance those things in our relationships, both personally and professionally. As we find contexts that foster success, we stay and work in those relationships. In the best contexts, we actually discover more about our personal agenda and learn about ourselves in the process. It’s all about our relationships.

When a relationship ends, it’s because of incompatible agendas. We simply don’t agree or have enough in common anymore to support one another in what we mutually want. How many times have you left a relationship - personal or professional - and you didn’t know why you were dissatisfied and ready to move on? Rarely. Our agendas define who we are and the parameters of what we are willing to do.

Knowing your agenda is to your advantage. You can navigate through life towards those things that are important to you. When faced with choices you can opt to consistently advance your dreams. You don’t feel stuck or wonder how to change your circumstances. You keep moving forward. You know who you are and where you want to be.

So what’s your agenda? If you made a list right now of what you want and what’s important to you, could you do it? Would it be complete? Would you have that nagging feeling that there is more not on the list but you can’t quite put your finger on it? Fight the urge not to identify what that is. It’s too easy to settle for less and then spend your energy wondering why you are who you are, where you are. No one is stuck in life by anything but their own thinking. Only we can make ourselves settle for less.

As we prepare for teachers and students to return to classrooms, I ask you, what is your agenda? Why are you in education? Take thirty minutes this week and make a list of your whys and what-fors. Then look over your agenda and ask yourself, “Are these items all compatible and pointing towards one destination?” If so, you’re deliberately and actively working your agenda. But what if  you find items on your list that conflict with one another and make you lose traction in getting where you want to go? It means you have some soul-searching to do and some choices to make Clean up that agenda and make it work for you. No one ever got anywhere drifting through life, surprising themselves as they react to whatever pops up in front of them.

Not sure how to honestly put your professional agenda down on paper? Then start with your personal life. What do you want for your personal happiness? What do you want and what are you willing to give to have the best, most important relationships in your life thrive? What are you willing to spend and what are you willing to save? What do you need more of and what do you need to remove completely?

Being thoughtful and deliberate about your agenda requires an awareness of what you are doing as you operate each day…and it’s worth the effort. Because as you develop the habits of knowing and furthering your agenda, you will attract others who will support you in your efforts and you remove many of the obstacles and frustrations that you notice in your life right now. You will be true to yourself and contributing to the happiness of those with whom you share common goals. Less friction. More traction.

And what if you find your agenda is not pointing towards your goals for happiness? Maybe it’s time to make some changes…choose different agenda items…end relationships and jobs that undermine your happiness. Frightening to consider? Fear is the number one reason people avoid looking at themselves and taking responsibility for their own happiness. Sadly, it’s easier to blame our circumstances and blame others and settle for less.

The truth is, you can’t choose to be in education and have an agenda that is not consistent with the goals of the profession. To do so is to subject yourself to a frustrating career fraught with episodes of burnout. You’re in the human potential business…make fulfilling your own potential a mindful priority. Your potential for fulfillment. Your potential for happiness. Your potential for peace of mind and satisfaction with your work and relationships. If you don’t do it for you…who will?